Sunday, February 28, 2021

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger...

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Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...

Scientists Developing Covid Vaccine That Will Also Shut Meghan McCain the Fuck Up

Calling it "one of the most important and necessary endeavors" of her career, Dr. Kimberly Manheimsteemrohler told a radio host today that she and...

CEO Larry Antifa Admits Ron Johnson is Right About the Capitol Riot

SOMEWHERE IN LIBTARDIA -- When Sen. Ron Johnson (Q-WI) spoke during a Senate hearing yesterday, he raised quite a few eyebrows. The hearing was,...

First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden

In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings of the surface of Mars have been transmitted back to Earth by a...

Nation Grips Itself for Another Week Without a Presidential Golf Outing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years, if there was one thing Americans could come to rely on, it was not their president's rock steady...

First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden

In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings of the surface of Mars have been transmitted back to Earth by a...

Nation Grips Itself for Another Week Without a Presidential Golf Outing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years, if there was one thing Americans could come to rely on, it was not their president's rock steady...

Devastated Underage Dominican Prostitutes Left Out Of Limbaugh’s Will

SANTO DOMINGO, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC -- In a shocking blow to the country, it is rumored that Rush Limbaugh's will left out his favorite Dominican...

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Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...

Scientists Developing Covid Vaccine That Will Also Shut Meghan McCain the Fuck Up

Calling it "one of the most important and necessary endeavors" of her career, Dr. Kimberly Manheimsteemrohler told a radio host today that she and...

CEO Larry Antifa Admits Ron Johnson is Right About the Capitol Riot

SOMEWHERE IN LIBTARDIA -- When Sen. Ron Johnson (Q-WI) spoke during a Senate hearing yesterday, he raised quite a few eyebrows. The hearing was,...

First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden

In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings of the surface of Mars have been transmitted back to Earth by a...

Nation Grips Itself for Another Week Without a Presidential Golf Outing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years, if there was one thing Americans could come to rely on, it was not their president's rock steady...

Devastated Underage Dominican Prostitutes Left Out Of Limbaugh’s Will

SANTO DOMINGO, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC -- In a shocking blow to the country, it is rumored that Rush Limbaugh's will left out his favorite Dominican...

Florida Drug Dealer Faces Financial Hardships

PALM BEACH, FLORIDA -- Ronald Crabtree, a low level Oxycontin street dealer, sits in a second hand LazyBoy recliner, shuffling through a Rolodex. "This one...

God Cancels Rush Limbaugh

PALM BEACH, FLORIDA -- In breaking news, we have learned that conservatives across the United States have disavowed “God” after He cancelled Rush Limbaugh. A statement,...

Illinois GOP Censures Abe Lincoln

STONEWALL, ILLINOIS -- The Illinois Republican Party has been on a censure-spree lately. This week, they officially condemned Rep. Adam Kinzinger, himself a Republican from...

Klansman Blames Cancel Culture for Getting Fired After His Hood Slips Off

COUSINBANGER, KENTUCKY -- For the last fifteen years, Clem C. Calhoun worked at his local grocery store, in the stockroom. Every weeknight, Clem and...

‘The Mandalorian’ Will Digitally Replace Gina Carano With AOC Wearing a Mask

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- It’s been a busy week for Disney Star Wars news, and today will be no different. Following on the heels of "The Mandalorian"...

Gina Carano Sets Up OnlyNaziFans Account

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- This week, alleged actress and former human punching bag Gina Carano was officially dropped by LucasFilm, and she will not appear...