Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA — An angry, maksed mob appeared at a local Taco Bell ...

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC’S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD — While it’s unclear at this time ...

CDC Releases New Urgent Guidelines for “Safe and Healthy” Circle Jerking

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The Centers for Disease Control have issued brand new, updated guidance ...

Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

EL OSO GRANDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — A small mountain town nestled in the mountains ...

CDC Study Shows Wearing a Mask Reduces Spreading Selfish Douchebaggery by 100%

HOTLANTA, GEORGIA — Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released ...