News March 28, 2020 March 28, 2020 CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer by James Schlarmann
Local News March 25, 2020 March 25, 2020 Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle March 23, 2020 March 23, 2020 Parents Wonder When Kids Will Finally Thank Them for Gift of a Fleeting, Worthless Existence by James Schlarmann
Science March 19, 2020 March 19, 2020 WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle March 18, 2020 March 18, 2020 Local Perv Weighs Risk of Breaking Coronavirus Quarantine to Watch You Shower Anyway by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle March 16, 2020 March 16, 2020 Local Woman Totally Judging What’s In Your Coronavirus Quarantine Preparation Shopping Cart by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle March 14, 2020 March 14, 2020 Report: People Were Socially Distancing Themselves From You Way Before Coronavirus by James Schlarmann
Entertainment March 13, 2020 March 13, 2020 Postponed Coachella Will Now Offer $1200 Boutique Coronavirus Testing Tent by James Schlarmann
Entertainment, News March 12, 2020 March 12, 2020 Petition to Put Harvey Weinstein In Epstein’s Prison Cell Reaches Six Million Signatures by James Schlarmann
Religion February 27, 2020 February 27, 2020 Mike Pence Asks Heaven if Jesus Would Be Willing to Join Coronavirus Response Team by James Schlarmann
Religion February 26, 2020 February 26, 2020 Mike Pence Listening to Low-Volume Porn on Headphones But Tells Mother It’s ASMR by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle February 25, 2020 February 25, 2020 Man Kicking Himself for Missing the Perfect Opportunity to Kill Himself by James Schlarmann
Uncategorized February 24, 2020 February 24, 2020 Musk Invests $10 Million in New Water Pipe Company by James Schlarmann
Science February 21, 2020 February 21, 2020 Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle February 19, 2020 February 19, 2020 Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential by James Schlarmann
LIfestyle February 14, 2020 February 14, 2020 Local Feline Entering Rehab After Catnip Fueled $4000 Amazon Shopping Spree by James Schlarmann
Science February 13, 2020 February 13, 2020 Study Shows 85% of Monopoly Money Used to Snort Pixy Stix by James Schlarmann
