Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Monthly Archives: June, 2021

Pro-Life Republican Against Life Saving Vaccines and Masks

IDIOTSBERG, TENNESSEE -- Sam Bedford has been what he calls a "rock-ribbed, dyed-in-the-wool, Constitutional pro-life conservative Republican" his entire life. Bedford's mom and dad are Republicans, though his maternal grandparents were both Democrats of the FDR vintage. However, for...

Lindell: Trump Will Ride The Loch Ness Monster Into D.C. On August 13th and ‘Retake His Throne’

On August 13th, a triumphant Donald John Trump will mount a saddled Loch Ness monster -- "Nessie" as she's known the world over -- and ride that beast back into Washington, D.C., where will be "set back down upon...

Which Beloved Racist Mascot Are You Going to Literally Murder Next, Libs?

Editor's Note: The following op-ed was written by conservative commentator and former Republican state senator, Dustin Pewpson. It does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of this outlet, its ownership, or staff. Well, great. You've done it, Libs. You've...

Boebert: “It Would Violate My Hippopotamus Rights to Tell You If I Got the Democrat Hoax Vaccine”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elected Republicans spent most of 2020 defending, propping up, and cheerleading for Operation Warp Speed -- the Trump Administration's effort to partner with pharmaceutical giants to develop a vaccine for COVID-19 at record-breaking speed. Despite the...

Palm Beach Burger King Cook ‘Wouldn’t Bet’ on Trump Winning in 2024

PALM BEACH, FLORIDUH -- Juan Miguel Vincente, 32, has been working at the Burger King franchise just down the street from his home for the past three years. He says he'll never forget the first time he met a...

Bezos Calls His First Spaceflight “One Giant Leap for Billionaire Assholes”

This morning, Amazon founder and former CEO Jeff Bezos became the second billionaire in two weeks to play Rocket Boy, hurtling himself, like Richard Branson just days before him, just out of Earth's atmosphere. Bezos' ride signals another milestone...

At Brian Kilmeade’s Suggestion, U.S. Disbands Its Military

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a fast-moving, and perhaps quite shocking turn of events, the United States has just announced that it is permanently closing down every branch of its armed forces. Lisa McMurphy, an official spokesperson at the Pentagon, told...

Man Says His Trump Flag Represents ‘Heritage, Not Hate’

CORRIGAN, GEORGIA -- In front of Michael Hill's house flies a massive flag, which he says is there to "show the entire neighborhood what real patriotism looks like."  It reads: "TRUMP WON!" Michael says that he will continue to fly the...

Arizona Audit Reveals Joe Biden is Still and Will Remain President

Today, the Arizona Senate, under control of Republicans, held a hearing on the audit of last year's election in their state by a company that is neither certified to do so, nor has any experiencing auditing elections in the...

Delta Variant Also Doesn’t Want You To Fauci Their Florida

TALLAHASSSE, FLORIDA -- If there's anything that enrages Republicans these days, it's competent people doing their jobs. This, perhaps more than anything, is the reason that day after day some elected Republican does an interview or makes a post...

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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...