Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Monthly Archives: August, 2021

Biden Doesn’t Mind Winning AZ ‘As Many Times as It Takes Don Trump to Accept Reality’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though MAGA nation might be reeling from the results, and the rest of the non-confederated states in the union might be sick of them taking place at all, there's one man in the nation's capitol who...

McEnany Blames Murder Rate Spike in 2020 on ‘Anti-Trumper Criminals’ Helping Biden’s Campaign

This morning, former White House Chief Bullshit Artist Kayleigh McEnany tweeted and quickly deleted an attack on President Joe Biden over recent reports of a 30% spike in the murder rate during 2020. McEnany retweeted an account that cited...

Boebert and Greene File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden’s Laptop

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Democrats and a handful of vertebrate Republicans impeached Donald Trump twice, Republicans warned that there would be recompense. Today, in a move sure to stir quite a commotion on the Hill, Trump's loyalist struck their...

Greene Volunteers to Help Border Patrol at the Southern Border and Bring Her Own Saddle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, images of border patrol agents on horseback, using reins as whips to corral undocumented immigrants at the southern border blew up the Internet. While those in the pro-law enforcement/fascism camp have defended the agents, noting...

Cruz: “As Soon as Trump Gives Them Back, I’ll Know If Getting Vaccinated Changed My Balls”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, noted virologist and "Wet Ass Pussy" composer Nicki Minaj caused quite a commotion when she divulged that a friend of one of her cousins experienced swollen testicles after receiving a COVID-19 vaccination. The story became...

AZ Election Auditors Claim Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Switched Votes to Biden

RUBEVILLE, ARIZONA -- This week Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by the Arizona Republican Party to audit the 2020 election, posted an explosive new report of the data they've collect so far. The report contains dozens of new allegations...

Poll Shows Majority Approves of Aborting Texas

A few weeks back, Texas legislators passed a new six-week restriction on abortion procedures in the state. The law effectively deputizes citizens of Texas to tattle on each other, and receive up to $10,000 for essentially suing someone who...

Irony: He Took Preventative Ivermectin. COVID Kept Him From a Hospital Bed After a Heart Attack.

BUBONIC FALLS, IDAHO -- 56-year-old Peter Peterson is in dire trouble, and it appears that he could be living his last moments on Earth, despite "taking every MAGA-approved precaution" he could think of. "In the last couple of weeks, I...

Boebert Confirms She Belongs to Several “Low IQ-Anon” Facebook Groups

"Free speech is for stupid people too, libs!" - Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congresswoman Lauren Boebert, a Republican from Colorado, has been under fire in her home district for weeks. Allegations have been swirling about Boebert,...

Tyrant Biden Commands Restaurant Employees to Wash Hands After Using the Bathroom

"What about my freedom to get sick and die, fam? WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THAT, HUH?!" - Jethro Bohiggins The duly elected tyrant President Joe Biden inched the United States of America closer to death by full-blown socialism today. Speaking...

Latest News

Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...