Thursday, June 8, 2023

Area Man Discovers Chihuahua in Sandwich

Area hardware store employee Rick Guzman found a live Chihuahua in his sandwich. Source: "The" David C Jensen.
Area hardware store employee Rick Guzman found a live Chihuahua in his sandwich. Source: “The” David C Jensen.

Grass Valley, CA — The long line at the local Subway sandwich shop came to a brief halt on Friday when area hardware worker Rick Guzman found a whole, live Chihuahua puppy in his sandwich during his lunch break. The Chihuahua somehow had made it into the one of the pre-packaged bags of lettuce and then onto Mr. Guzman’s sandwich.

“You can image my surprise when I lifted up the bread to check if there was mayonnaise on it,” said a shy Mr. Guzman in a Not Really News interview following his shift. “I really don’t like mayonnaise and they always put it on my sandwiches when I tell them not to. Anyhow, when I lifted the bread up, this little puppy popped up and wagged its tail. The weird part about it is the little guy acted like nothing was wrong. He was just happy to see me.”

According to witnesses at the scene, Mr. Guzman screeched like a little girl upon discovering the friendly Chihuahua, which startled the Subway customers waiting in line, but also the “Sandwich Artists” behind the counter.

“I wasn’t really paying attention,” said Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge. “But then I hear this little girl scream, and I look around and it’s not a little girl but this guy from the hardware store. Then I saw that he had his dog with him, and I know Subway doesn’t allow that hippie stuff in their stores. So that irritated me.”

According to the  Health Department officials this incident doesn’t seem to be a prank, but rather a “processing error” at Subway’s supplier. They have launched a full investigation into the lettuce provider Happy Veggies, LLC based out of Bakersfield, CA. Subway sandwich corporation is cooperating.

As for Mr. Guzman, he seems happy with this odd pet windfall.

“I think I’m gonna keep the little guy if they can’t find the owner,” continued a shy Mr. Guzman. “He’s been through a lot, and I’m gonna give him a good home.”

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue, and seldom loses. Mostly because he's well informed. And somewhat gassy
Must Read


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest News

God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...

More Articles Like This