James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Eric and Don Jr Ask Santa for a PS5 and a New Election

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The outgoing president’s sons have sent urgent letters to, ...

Can’t Follow Trump’s Legal Arguments? Try Smoking This Drug.

The 2020 presidential election was held almost three weeks ago, and the result has ...

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama’s highly anticipated first presidential memoir, “A Promised Land,” ...

Florida Swamp and New York Dump Finalists for Trump Presidential Library

Presidential libraries are often planned and built once the nation’s chief executive leaves office. ...

Biden Legally Changes Middle Name to “Fuck Trump”

HAWKEYE, DELAWARE — Today, President-elect Joe Biden did what his transition team is calling ...