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James Schlarmann

James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Politics December 13, 2019 December 13, 2019

Country’s Biggest Shit Wants Nationwide Toilet Probe

LIfestyle December 6, 2019 December 6, 2019

Man in Romantic Relationship With Wall Socket Shocked by Genital Pain

LIfestyle December 2, 2019 December 2, 2019

Santa Asks 58 Year Old If She Still Believes Trump is a Real President

Politics November 30, 2019 November 30, 2019

Women for Trump Teams With Chickens for McNuggets on Campaign Fundraiser

News November 28, 2019 November 28, 2019

Pentagon Tells Trump U.S. Armed Forces ‘Can’t Afford’ Two-Front War on Christmas and Thanksgiving

Entertainment November 19, 2019 November 19, 2019

Trump Records Christmas Single for Charity: “White Power Christmas”

Politics November 12, 2019 November 12, 2019

Lindsey Graham: “You Can’t Impeach Trump Until I Stop Blowing Him”

Religion November 11, 2019 November 11, 2019

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

Politics November 9, 2019 November 9, 2019

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

Local News November 8, 2019 November 8, 2019

Man Burning Cross in MAGA Hat Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

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