James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Asks If It’s Too Late to Run Election on “Golf Scoring”

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Mother Checks Purse for Drugs Before Taking Her Kids Trick or Treating

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Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

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Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

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