James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s Name Change

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Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

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Local Man Pretty Sure He Can Convince Himself to Masturbate

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Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

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