Sunday, February 28, 2021

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger...
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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James Schlarmann

Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren are confirming at the time of publication that she is in stable condition,...

Adult Film Star Says President Obama Secretly Helped Her Use Exchange To Sign Up For Health Insurance

THE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- An adult film star has revealed that she and President Donald Trump had a sexual affair that lasted months, even...

Alex Jones’ Material Is Now Only Available in Pamphlets And Dietary Supplements He Hands You As He Checks You Out At WalMart

IDIOTIC FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Deep in the heart of Texas, right-wing media mogul and provocateur Alex Jones is still pumping out his daily brand...

President’s Plane Renamed “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation is ongoing, and because it seems every couple...

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLYCORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new application they say can detect when White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders...

Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White House's presidential residence to the Oval Office late this afternoon to retrieve a...

Mexico Agrees to Pay for National Emergency as Long as Trump Can Prove it Exists

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has sent an official communique to both houses of Congress, offering to shoulder the financial...

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

DYLAN, FLORIDA -- Though he's a free man now, for several months George Zimmerman was in jail while he stood trial for killing Trayvon...

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