Monday, February 6, 2023

James Schlarmann

Future SpaceX Projects Will Be Funded With Sales Of New Cologne: “Elon’s Musk”

This morning, billionaire entrepreneur and inventor Elon Musk watched another one of his SpaceX rockets blast off into the cosmos. Falcon 9 lifted off from its pad just before dawn in a spectacular display, carrying experimental global internet satellites....

Typing “Go Fuck Yourself” On Facebook Now Unleashes A Stream Of Cute Little Animated Dildos

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Social media giant Facebook is constantly trying to improve the experience its billions of users have every day on the biggest social media platform on the web. Each new tweak to its newsfeed algorithm, each...

Post Office Announces New “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding a new type of stamp to the postage available for purchase at all post offices in the country. The USPS already offers stamps that range in price from...

About Me

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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Latest News

God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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