Friday, March 31, 2023

Boebert Wants an FDA Update on Approving Bleach Injection Boosters

Congressmoron Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) is an outspoken, devoted follower and gatekeeper of the MAGA political movement.

In 2020, Ms. Boebert, who once gave patrons of her Colorado pro-gun themed restaurant diarrhea with tainted meat, ran a campaign built on white whine-rage that also helped put former reality-TV game show host Don Trump into the White House. During a recent presser held by the Dumbfuck Caucus, Boebert continued to show her public devotion to Trump.

Sister publication, The Political Garbage Chutehad the initial report.

“I need one of you libtarded members of the press, the ones our glorious FOREVER PRESIDENT rightly labeled the enemies of the people, to go do some real journalism,” Boebert demanded. “You need to go find out why the Food and Communist Socialist Antifa George Soros Barack Obama Administration keeps pumping out these approvals for vaccine boosters, but hasn’t lifted a finger to get bleach injection boosters approved.” (PGC)

Boebert slammed the lack of bleach booster approval as a “clear and obvious, direct threat to the MAGA movement,” and says it shows a deeply rooted bias against Trump himself.

“They may claim they’re not approving the bleach boosters because tech-mick-ly it’s poison and can kill you, but that sounds like an excuse for taking away our freedom of choice, to me,” Boebert insisted. “If American patriots want to inject themselves with bleach every few weeks, and then take horse dewormer because their regular doctor won’t prescribe the human version of the drug since COVID-19 isn’t a bacterial infection, or whatever, then the FDA should get the hell out of their way!” (PGC)

Former twice forever impeached President Don Trump issued a statement lauding Boebert for her “courage to ask the touch questions.”

“Clearly Lauren Bobo knows that my ideas, no matter how stupid and childish, deserve to be preserved and protected throughout the anals of time. I’m pretty sure I’m saying that right, anals. Right? It’s anals? IVANKA, GET IN HERE AND TELL ME IF ANAL IS RIGHT,” Trump wrote. “IVANKA! COME TELL ME ABOUT ANAL!” (PGC)

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
Must Read


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest News

God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...

More Articles Like This