Saturday, October 1, 2022

Democracy Loving Patriot Rooting for America’s Enemy to Reunite Communist Empire

Right-wing podcaster Jethro Bohiggins loves America.

He loves freedom. He loves democracy. Each week on his podcast, he tells dozens of viewers these things, and he warns them about the dangers of communism spreading to the United States by way of progressive social policies that other western democracies enjoy.

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Bohiggins once did a four-part deep dive on his podcast about the film Rocky IV, which he calls one of the greatest cinematic achievements of his lifetime. Jethro says he grew up in the 1980’s in a very conservative, evangelical home, and he was raised to admire and respect President Ronald Reagan, chiefly because he alone personally ended the Soviet Union and took a jackhammer to the Berlin Wall, or at least that’s what the history books at his Southern Baptist bible college told him.

Right-wing podcaster Jethro Bohiggins doesn’t see any issue with being a Reagan loving, pro-Putin MAGA American.

Now that Vladimir Putin has declared his intentions to start rebuilding the USSR — the largest communist empire in history — starting with his unlawful invasion of Ukraine, one would presume that Bohiggins would be outraged and channel his inner Reagan to condemn Russia’s aggression. If one made that presumption, however, they’d be deathly wrong. Because Jethro Bohiggins just told his podcast audience he is “one hundred billion trillion percent behind Putin” and hopes he succeeds.

“First of off, I’m loyal, okay fam? I’m LOYAL! You ask any of my friends, both of them, and they’ll tell you how loyal I am! And first and foremost I’m loyal to Donald Trump, because he was tryin’ to make America, my favorite country, great again,” Bohiggins said angrily. “Now, it seems to me that Don Trump and Vlad Putin are pretty good pals. Hair-go, if Trump says Putin’s good by him, then I agree and fully, full-on support his war of aggression.”

Jethro is “pretty sure” that Reagan himself would support Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

“Hear me out, folks, okay? Hear me out here. Ronald Reagan, the Patron Saint of Arms for Hostages, would absolutely back Putin’s play. I’m pretty sure, anyway. I get that he literally built his legacy on crushing the Soviet Union Putin’s trying to reestablish, but Reagan was a Republican, Don Trump is a Republican, and Vlad Putin helped get Trump, a Republican, elected and president for four years. By that air tight MAGA logic, that means Putin is a Republican, and Reagan would have been pro-Putin because of that fact alone.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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