Man on COVID Quarantine Really Missing Taco Bell Shits

LA MIERDA LIQUIDA, CALIFORNIA — Getting used to living in the post-coronavirus America has ...

Irate Manager Demands to Speak to Store’s Karen

BEAR ROCK, CALIFORNIA — An irate manager at a local retail establishment is currently ...

Dan Crenshaw Opening Bank That Loans Guns to People on a Hunch

DUMFUQ, TEXAS — Rep. Dan Crenshaw is opening a bank that will, unlike most ...

Ivanka Opens North Korean Factory to Make Tennis Shoes With Confederate Flags on Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. — First Lady-Daughter Ivanka Trump announced this afternoon that she has decided ...

Trump Outraged Queen Elizabeth Was Watching CNN in the Throne Room When He Arrived

LONDON, ENGLAND — Queen Elizabeth was sitting on her throne, speaking with various aides ...

The home improvement giant is helping Trump build his border wall.

Home Depot Sponsors 129 Miles of Trump’s Border Wall

Atlanta, GA — The world’s largest home improvement retailer announced today that it plans ...

A new Burger King restaurant being operated by two "automated staff" in Miami, FL.

Burger King Preps 60,000 Mexican Replacement Robots

Miami, FL — Burger King Corporation announced today that it plans on replacing its ...

Disneyland to Introduce First, Second, and Steerage Class Tickets in 2020

ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA — When Disney announced that they would be dramatically raising Disneyland ticket ...

Massengill and Summer’s Eve Are Co-Sponsoring the Kanye/Trump Summit

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When two of the greatest political minds of our time meet ...

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