Wednesday, April 21, 2021
Entertainment

Lara Trump Hired By Fox to Do To Her Father-in-Law Publicly What Her Sister-in-Law Does Privately

James Schlarmann - 0
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, Fox News made it official -- former President Donald "Mushroom Dong" Trump's daughter-in-law Lara has joined their...
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Trump Consoles Himself By Looking Forward to Less Time With ‘Homewrecker’ Jared Kushner

James Schlarmann - 0
This story first appeared on Alternative Facts. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say that President Donald Trump has given "mixed signals" about whether or not he accepts...
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Dating/Romance

Man Is ‘Blown Away’ How Much ‘It Stinks’ That His Girlfriend Can’t Stop Farting During Quarantine

James Schlarmann - 0
BROWN CLOUD, CALIFORNIA -- He says that there is "absolutely no chance" of it breaking them up, but that doesn't mean 37 year old...
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Dating/Romance

Local Man Pretty Sure He Can Convince Himself to Masturbate

James Schlarmann - 0
SPAYNK RIVER BANK, MISSOURI -- In a sleepy town located on the banks of a lesser-known American river in the Show Me State, Johann...
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Dating/Romance

Quarantine Panic! Man Already Masturbated to Everything on Pornhub That Doesn’t Involve Incest

James Schlarmann - 0
STROHK LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- "Wait. Son of a bitch! I've gone in a circle jerk!" John Puhdzingert's roommate recalls that the words, in her words,...
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Dating/Romance

Participants Agree Zoom Orgy Only 30% Less Creepy Than In-Person One

James Schlarmann - 0
Participants in an orgy via the group video chat app "Zoom" told our reporter afterward that it was only about 30% less creepy to...
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Local Couple: Sex Was Really Good Until Husband Got Involved

James Schlarmann - 0
DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA -- In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha and Mick Garrison -- married since August 2002 -- said that their recent...
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Dating/Romance

Alabama Republicans Propose New State Miscarriage Investigation Unit

James Schlarmann - 0
STONEWALL COUNTY, ALABAMA -- Just a couple of weeks after Alabama's governor signed a sweeping, abortion ban into law, Republican legislators in her state...
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Dating/Romance

Alabama Celebrates First Fetal Wedding

James Schlarmann - 0
RIO SIN DIENTES, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama town, preparations are underway for a truly momentous and perhaps historic event -- a man...
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Dating/Romance

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

James Schlarmann - 0
DYLAN, FLORIDA -- Though he's a free man now, for several months George Zimmerman was in jail while he stood trial for killing Trayvon...
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