Sunday, January 16, 2022

Entertainment

Hey! Check Out This Super Rich White Guy’s Take on Being Nice to Hateful Bigots.

What a good lookin', rich, white guy this guy is, eh? I mean...just look at him! We already established he's rich, and white, but also, just note how incredibly good looking he is! Anyway, this guy is making headlines...

Fox News Promises Trump They’ll Call Him “President” Even After Biden’s Sworn In and Dismantles His Legacy

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Even after the network officially declares the race over, and former Vice President Joe Biden the winner, Fox News does not want its on-air talent calling Biden the "president-elect." Though it's a title traditionally...

Trans Woman Unsure If JK Rowling Wants Her to Identify With Voldemort or Harry Now

CHERRY FALLS, RHODE ISLAND -- Sheila Williams loves Harry Potter, and she loves the books in which he was created. Up until just a few months ago, Sheila loved author J.K. Rowling -- the mind who created Potter and...

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sue Disney After Being Hospitalized With COVID-19 Symptoms

WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn of events, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have files papers in Florida district court, suing their employer. MORE: Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s...

Babylon Bee Writer Laughing At “Blazing Saddles” for All The Wrong Reasons

Beau McGriff has been writing for the website known as The Babylon Bee for a few months now. Fresh out of seminary school, Beau applied to write for many outlets that he felt fit his lifestyle and point of view, which...

Postponed Coachella Will Now Offer $1200 Boutique Coronavirus Testing Tent

CALIFORNIA -- This week, under mounting pressure from a potential pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus, the organizers of the Coachella music and arts festival postponed the event, moving the dates from April to October. It came during a...

Petition to Put Harvey Weinstein In Epstein’s Prison Cell Reaches Six Million Signatures

NEW YORK -- This week, a petition to put disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein in the same jail cell that was once occupied by billionaire Jeffrey Epstein reached over six million signatures. The petition, started online, asks the New...

Trump Records Christmas Single for Charity: “White Power Christmas”

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- American record label U.S. Capitol Records announced this week that it will be teaming up with President Donald Trump to record and release a Christmas-themed single. The proceeds will go toward Trump's favorite charity -- Donald...

Trump Asks Ukraine to Dig Up Dirt on Sean Spicer’s Dancing With the Stars Rivals

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump is no stranger to needing help to win elections. He couldn't win in 2016 without the help of Russian interference. His entire presidency is being imperiled at the moment because of his...

For Some Reason, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Pretty Confident She Can Lie for Donald Trump on Fox News

PIG SLOP CROTCH, ARKANSAS -- Sarah Huckabee Sanders is going to be a Fox News contributor. Some might wonder if she'll fit in at Fox News. After all, many argue, there is a certifiable difference between lying on someone's...
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Latest News

23andMe Finds DNA Link Between Jim Crow and Kyrsten Sinema

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A new bombshell report from genetic testing company 23andMe indicates that a sitting, Democratic...
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