Wednesday, December 8, 2021


Ivanka to New York Attorney General: “Daddy Doesn’t Need More Reasons to Roll Over On Me!”

LAKE VAPID, FLORIDA -- When New York Attorney General Letitia James announced that her office's investigation into the finances of the Trump Organization had transitioned from civil to criminal, the response from MAGA Nation was, to put it mildly,...

TX Governor Signs Law Affirming Life Begins at Erection

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q-TX) signed a law today that makes seeking or obtaining an abortion after the point of erection illegal. "It is with great pride, and a solemn commitment to protecting the life of the unborn...

Attack Helicopter Identifies as Someone Who Thinks You’re a Transphobic Douchebag

Choppy McChopperson has lived their entire life as a Boeing AH-65 Apache attack helicopter, put in service by the United States Armed Forces years ago. Choppy says they don't take sides in political arguments for the most part because...

Gaetz Will Deliver Commencement Address for Trump High School’s 2021 Graduating Class

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Despite a recent scandal that has yet to resolve itself, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is still a very highly sought-after figure in MAGA country. Just this week, Gaetz announced that he would be speaking at...

Greene Spent Easter Sunday Worshiping Her Savior and His Son, Donald Trump Jr.

Marjorie Taylor Greene spent her Easter Sunday worshiping her lord and savior like so many other right-wing American Christians did.

Cherokee County Sheriff Once Said Ted Bundy Had ’30 Bad Days for Him’

"I don't know that Bundy was motivated by any hatred for women."

Poll: 90% of Americans Support Inventing Time Travel to Convince Ted Cruz’s Mom to Be Pro-Choice

"In this country, you can't get this kind of agreement on the wetness of water."

Trump to Spend Romantic International Women’s Day With The Woman He Loves Most

"If you thought the spread at the Clemson ceremony was impressive, just you wait until you see what he’s got in store for Ivanka."

Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood all fifty states. Robertson was speaking on his Monday morning podcast, "Wake Up With Jesus," when...

Klansman Blames Cancel Culture for Getting Fired After His Hood Slips Off

COUSINBANGER, KENTUCKY -- For the last fifteen years, Clem C. Calhoun worked at his local grocery store, in the stockroom. Every weeknight, Clem and his team would help restock the shelves and get the story ready for the next...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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