Mike Pence Listening to Low-Volume Porn on Headphones But Tells Mother It’s ASMR
WASHINGTON, D.C. — He doesn’t like to do it; in fact, he loathes it ...
Man Kicking Himself for Missing the Perfect Opportunity to Kill Himself
VALLE DE INÚTIL, CALIFORNIA — Looking back on it now, Jake Masterson is pretty ...
Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential
LAKE ÉTOILE DÉCLINANTE, ILLINOIS — Phillip Fillmore, a lifelong resident of his sleepy midwestern ...
Local Feline Entering Rehab After Catnip Fueled $4000 Amazon Shopping Spree
WHISKERS FLATS, IDAHO — An eight year old house cat in the United States ...
Middle-Aged Man Should Probably Be Better at Fucking By Now
LAGO DEL FLACIDO, CALIFORNIA — Skip Languido is a 42 year old financial planner ...
Man in Romantic Relationship With Wall Socket Shocked by Genital Pain
VALLE DE PENE QUEMADO, NEW MEXICO — No matter how much his groin region ...
Santa Asks 58 Year Old If She Still Believes Trump is a Real President
THE NORTH POLE, EARTH — On Christmas night last year, President Trump raised eyebrows ...
Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s a day that many in this country thought would never ...
White House Thanksgiving Seating Chart Places President At Kids’ Table
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though it’s not for another couple of weeks, preparations are underway ...
Kellyanne Conway Says Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway, told reporters tonight ...
Recently Published
