Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Lifestyle

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger Travel Statistics", United States airports reported the least amount of traffic since the height of...

Sure Marjorie Taylor Greene is an Unhinged Racist, But She Makes Amazing Grits!

Freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-MAGAstan) has had quite a first couple of weeks on her new job. On her first day as a congressional representative, and on the first day of his presidency, she filed Articles of Impeachment...

Gold Digging Racist Asshole Has Lost All Interest in Pretending to Be First Lady

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the world's most famous gold miners -- who also happens to be a racist birther -- has told her friends and family recently that she's "over it" and desperately wants to stop pretending to...

Adorable! The Trump Boys Have Started Calling Joe Biden “Daddy”

All or part of this story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. All content is used with permission. NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump acknowledges his stinging, definitive defeat at the hands of the...

Jesus H. Christ: “Joel Osteen is a Disgusting Capitalist Fuck Giblet”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway and Vice President of Holy Trinity, Inc., did not mince any words today. "Joel Osteen? You want my feelings on Joel Osteen, the megachurch guy," Christ asked at a...

Matt Gaetz Pledges to Slur, Stammer, and Drunkenly Stand Behind Trump on January 6th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 6th, 2021, Congress will meet to do one of the very last things required to transfer power to a new, incoming president and will certify the Electoral College results. Those results will show that...

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the bestselling fantasy fiction series "The Whore-y Bible," which is an edition of the Bible that features sexualized stories from the scripture, told the world today...

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC'S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD -- While it's unclear at this time if it will have any effect whatsoever, a local witch announced today that she undertook an endeavor to cast a curse on Harry Potter author JK Rowling. MORE:...

If He Can’t Murder Whoever He Wants, Whenever He Wants, You’re On Your Own, Rape Victims

He's a hero. Everyone he ever meets tells him he's a hero. So why would Lt. Frank Biedemup think he's anything except a hero? And, as a hero, Lt. Biedemup thinks, no he believes, that he has the right to kill with impunity....

Basic White Woman Who’s Never Interacted With Cops Against Defunding Them

LAS ESTUPIDAS BLANCAS, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old cosmetics consultant Christiana Vacaciones says she has "many black friends" and that none of them have ever told her to her face that her beliefs about Black Lives Matters, and policing...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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