Saturday, April 10, 2021

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"
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Alabama Rapist Can Finally Have The Family He Never Had

Sumiton, AL -- Unemployed handyman and rapist George Reed Wambles of Sumiton, Alabama says he's happy with Alabama's new abortion ban. The new law,...

Fully Engorged Mike Pence Just Staring at Maps of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence has spent the last 36 solid hours just staring at maps of four states -- Alabama, Georgia,...

Alabama Supreme Court Rules God is Real-All Citizens Must Obey

Montgomery, AL -- The Alabama Supreme Court ruled 8-1 in favor that God is real and that the citizens of the conservative state must...

Low IQ Man Can’t Handle The Hectic Pace of California

Twin Falls, ID -- Former California resident Harley Barton gave up on his golden state dreams and moved his family to Twin Falls, Idaho...

God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during...

David Avocado Wolfe Clinging to Life After Accidental Crystal Chakra Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that lifestyle coach, nutrition guru, and the World's Most Enlightened and...

President Trump Says He Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often...

Man Falls Off Forest Hill Bridge After Accidentally Shooting Himself While on Heroin

Sacramento, CA -- A Mokelumne Hill man is in critical but stable condition after falling from the Forest Hill bridge in what appears to...

Bablyon Bee Drops All Pretense and Converts to Conservative Christian Mega-Church

LAKE PROPAGANDA, MICHIGAN --  The online satirical publication known as The Babylon Bee has decided to stop publishing fake news stories aimed at a decidedly...

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