Wednesday, March 3, 2021

“Cat Lawyer” Added to Trump’s Shortlist of New Legal Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rumors are spreading wildly as it seems Trump is moving forward with firing his second legal team while also hiring "Cat Lawyer,"...
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Border Prayer Rugs Blamed on Fake El Paso Flea Market

El Paso, TX -- President Trump tweeted earlier this week that Islamic prayer rugs were found on, around, and within the US border prompting...

Gated Communities Discovered to be Massive Secret Government Social Experiment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Under the Freedom of Information Act, or FOIA, Not Really News has obtained information on a giant secret government experiment that...

Trump to Shoot Somebody on Fifth Avenue to Celebrate MLK Day

Washington, D.C. -- President Trump casually mentioned that he plans on shooting "somebody" on New York City's Fifth Avenue in honor of Martin Luther...

Disneyland to Introduce First, Second, and Steerage Class Tickets in 2020

ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA -- When Disney announced that they would be dramatically raising Disneyland ticket pricing this year, a strong negative buzz began to foment...

Hellraiser Holiday Starbucks Cup Sends Area Woman to Hell

Sparks, NV -- 31-year-old Dawn Qualls found herself in the torturous and fiery pits of Hell over the weekend after ordering a Starbucks limited...

Internet Evangelical Christians Publishes ALL CAPS Bible

Topeka, KS -- In effort to proclaim that 'Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,' and 'go into all the world and proclaim the gospel...

Parenting Study: Kids Will Probably Be A-Holes Regardless of What You Do

A new study published in the  North American Pediatric Psychology Review seems to indicate something new and perhaps startling for some parents: it's impossible...

Asshole Really Wants To Give You His Asshole Opinion

FARDING BEUTH HOLE, WISCONSIN -- Kevin Rickerdellia is a straight-up asshole, has a bunch of asshole opinions, and will not stop until you've heard...

ISIS Sends Mike Pence Congratulations on His New ‘Religious Inquisition’ Task Force

//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- ISIS has issued a statement this morning, congratulating Vice President Mike Pence on the religious freedom...

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