Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Lifestyle

ISIS Sends Mike Pence Congratulations on His New ‘Religious Inquisition’ Task Force

//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- ISIS has issued a statement this morning, congratulating Vice President Mike Pence on the religious freedom task force started by the Trump administration this week. "Dear Vice President Imam Pence," the letter...

Area Town Fears It Only Exists in David Lynch’s Imagination

Visalia, CA -- During a recent interview with the People magazine, writer and film director David Lynch admitted that the small former California central valley Farmersville "just something he thought of in his head." The Missoula, Montana-born neo-noir film...

Report: Trump Supporters Penises are 2 Inches Smaller than Nationwide Average

Palo Alto, CA -- A year-long study by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation has revealed that male Donald Trump supporters have, on average, a penis that is 2 inches shorter than non-Trump supporters. The report, which was...

Alex Jones Voted Ugliest Woman for 3rd Consecutive Year by Girly Magazine

NEW YORK, NY -- Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has been voted the ugliest woman on Earth for the 3rd consecutive year by Girly Magazine. For the past 25 years, Girly Magazine has polled its readership for the 10 most...

Local Man Wondering If You Noticed His Oversized Truck

PENN VALLEY, CA -- Standing at just over 5 foot 6 inches, Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA  felt no need to yield at his home town's controversial roundabout because in his words, "why should I?" Mr. Dickens,...

The Amazing Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Fails to Prevent Area Woman’s Existential Crisis

PENSACOLA, FL -- A creeping and gnawing feeling that something isn't right continued its steady march for the 4th consecutive year as area woman Margaret Crowley failed to find enlightenment after purchasing the amazing and revolutionary Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. The popular consumer home...

Man Wouldn’t Be An Incel If You Ladies Would Stop Being Such B**ches And Do It With Him After You Clean His Apartment

HAMBONE, IOWA -- John Sisrovich is a frustrated, lonely man, and he is a self-described "incel," or a man who doesn't have sex with females through no choice of his own. "It's a little disappointing to spend day after day...

5 Ways To Mansplain To Your Woman Why She Shouldn’t Accuse You Of Being Sexist And Make Dinner Instead

Doesn't it seem like some women are just going to accuse you of being sexist no matter how much you sit a woman down, speak slowly, and give physical cues that you're pretending to care what they think about...

Study: Mansplaining is Effective Contraceptive

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A groundbreaking new scientific study has been released by the National Institute of Procreation Prevention Services may just change the way you, and the rest of humanity, views contraception. Preventing a pregnancy while still engaging...

Parents Admit Middle Child Neither of Their Favorite

WHISTLER'S COB, IDAHO -- Jack and Mary Beth Scoggins absolutely love their three children, and they make sure everyone on social media knows it. The Scoggins routinely post pictures of their son and two daughters participating in various school and...
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Latest News

Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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