Sunday, February 28, 2021

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger...
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Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...

Jesus H. Christ: “Joel Osteen is a Disgusting Capitalist Fuck Giblet”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway and Vice President of Holy Trinity, Inc., did not mince any words today. "Joel...

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the bestselling fantasy fiction series "The Whore-y Bible," which is an...

Jesus Sees Image of Potato Chip in Bathroom Mirror

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc's CEO Larry "God" Schumway, was brushing his holy teeth, and...

Mike Pence Listening to Low-Volume Porn on Headphones But Tells Mother It’s ASMR

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't like to do it; in fact, he loathes it every time he has to. That doesn't change the fact...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope...

Conservative Christian: Rape Pregnancies Are ‘Just God Putting One In You’

CHARLESTON, W. VIRGINIA -- In 2015, West Virginia Delegate Brian Kurcaba (R) made some eyebrows climb in the national media when he said that while "rape...

Alabama Rapist Can Finally Have The Family He Never Had

Sumiton, AL -- Unemployed handyman and rapist George Reed Wambles of Sumiton, Alabama says he's happy with Alabama's new abortion ban. The new law,...

Fully Engorged Mike Pence Just Staring at Maps of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence has spent the last 36 solid hours just staring at maps of four states -- Alabama, Georgia,...

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