CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this ...

Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic

LAKE MANGEUR  D’HOMME, MINNESOTA — Terry Homocomedenti wasn’t really too nervous about the novel ...

Toddler Doesn’t Give a Fuck

LINCOLN, INDIANA — He doesn’t give a fuck.  He doesn’t give a fuck what ...

Local Woman Refuses to Accept Trophy for World’s Most Stubborn Person

RECALCITRANT FALLS, MINNESOTA — Last month, Cheryl Sherer won a highly-coveted prize from the ...

Local Man Not Sure He’ll Get a Return on All the Money He Invested in His Son

CARMEL VALLEY RANCH, CALIFORNIA — He never expected to recoup every single cent he ...

Trump Orders Toyota to Produce Vaccine for “Corollavirus”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump has issued and official presidential demand to ...

Man: “You’re Voting for the Wrong Person You Fucking Idiot”

The following is an editorial opinion piece written by Dick Whistler, a local man ...

Trump Supporters Demand Football Hall of Fame Remove Socialist Barry Sanders

The Pro Football Hall of Fame released a statement regarding a “deluge of calls, ...