Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Lara Trump Hired By Fox to Do To Her Father-in-Law Publicly What Her Sister-in-Law Does Privately

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, Fox News made it official -- former President Donald "Mushroom Dong" Trump's daughter-in-law Lara has joined their...
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Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While it's not clear at this time exactly why Senator Ted Cruz went for a swim in the Potomac river last...

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's highly anticipated first presidential memoir, "A Promised Land," was released this week to largely quite positive reviews. According...

Mother Checks Purse for Drugs Before Taking Her Kids Trick or Treating

STINK NUT FALLS, IDAHO -- 35 year old Shelly Skalski is just about to take her three kids out trick or treating in the...

Town Shocked to Discover Local Pious Man Actually Just Raging Hypocrite

EL OSO GRANDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A small mountain town nestled in the mountains in Southern California was rocked this week by a scandal...

Local Karen Reports 18 Suspicious Antifas Armed With Clubs Up to Gang Activity in Local Park

VIEJA BLANCA, CALIFORNIA -- 59 year old Karen Boomerton was so alarmed by what she saw when she looked out her front window this...

Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic

LAKE MANGEUR  D'HOMME, MINNESOTA -- Terry Homocomedenti wasn't really too nervous about the novel coronavirus pandemic up until about three or four days ago,...

Toddler Doesn’t Give a Fuck

LINCOLN, INDIANA -- He doesn't give a fuck.  He doesn't give a fuck what you want to get done today. He doesn't give a fuck...

Man Buys All of Store’s Toilet Paper and Canned Chili to Survive Coronavirus Quarantine

MIERDALIQUIDA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A grocery store on Main Street has reported that one man, 52-year old Lance Borestein, just left their parking lot...

Local Woman Refuses to Accept Trophy for World’s Most Stubborn Person

RECALCITRANT FALLS, MINNESOTA -- Last month, Cheryl Sherer won a highly-coveted prize from the International Coalition of Intractable Relentlessness, Persistent Doggedness, and the Unflaggingly...

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