Saturday, January 22, 2022

News

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's personal cache of marijuana, presumed by historians to be lost for over 200 years, has been discovered underneath socks in a sock drawer in a home Washington spent...

Hipster Will Only Do Challenge With Non-GMO Tide Pods

24 year old Chad Braddington drinks only cold brew coffee. Chad only grocery shops where he knows the produce and butcher departments only source their products from at most a sixteen foot radius from his tiny home that he built out...

Man Doesn’t Deny He Dealt It, But Callously Refuses To Smellt It

RUSTY WIND FALLS, MINNESOTA -- Everyone in the room knew he did it, Bob Phalinger didn't deny he did it. The blame for the malodorous emission from his posterior was not in doubt, ever, during the entire incident at 329...

Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A G##damned F##king S###headed C##k-Faced Tw#twaffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits that she has a "potty mouth." According to Megan, however, her tendency to curse doesn't come out unbidden. Ms. Thompson says that in order to get her to...

Post Office Announces New “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding a new type of stamp to the postage available for purchase at all post offices in the country. The USPS already offers stamps that range in price from...
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Latest News

Matt Walsh is Thinking Very Deeply About Your Genitals. Just Like Jesus.

This week, Daily Caller columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh -- a devout evangelical Christian conservative -- appeared on The Dr. Phil...
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