CDC Study Shows Wearing a Mask Reduces Spreading Selfish Douchebaggery by 100%

HOTLANTA, GEORGIA — Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released ...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one ...

WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human ...

Coronavirus Update: CDC Strongly Urges People to Stop Licking Each Other’s Nostrils

WASHINGTON, D.C — The Centers for Disease Control have issued a strong advisory warning ...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. — President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because ...

Study Shows 85% of Monopoly Money Used to Snort Pixy Stix

A new study just published by the National Institute of Studying Stuff has pointed ...

Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For Rare Facial Condition

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The president’s son will be undergoing a radical, experimental ...

"BIG Boy" PD97-3034 Chemtrail Drone. Source: US Military.

Government Now Using Stealth Drones for Chemtrail Operations

Washington, D.C. — In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced on Friday ...

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