Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Science

In Hindsight, Crossing Horse, Demon, and Nazi DNA Was Probably a Bad Idea

The following is an excerpt from a new book entitled, "Making a Monster," written by Dr. Benson Hornaydieux of the American Institute of Genetic Research. In his new book, Dr. Hornaydieux reveals some rather earth shattering details about freshman...

Boebert Wants an FDA Update on Approving Bleach Injection Boosters

Congressmoron Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) is an outspoken, devoted follower and gatekeeper of the MAGA political movement. In 2020, Ms. Boebert, who once gave patrons of her Colorado pro-gun themed restaurant diarrhea with tainted meat, ran a campaign built on white...

Nicki Minaj Says Her Cousin’s Friends Balls Are Southwest Pilots Who Walked Out Over Vaccines

One of MAGA America's favorite experts on the moisture level of vaginae and her cousin's friend's testicles may have tweeted something today that will only endear her even more to the red hatted cousins of the confederacy. "Don't want to...

CDC Urges Americans Not to Take Advice From Self-Certified Eye Doctors With Punchable Faces

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for disease control is warning Americans this morning to not take any vaccine advice from "skunk-haired, anti-vaxxer morons" who also happen to be self-certified eye doctors. "Idiots, morons, and fuckfaces come in all stripes, with...

Delta Variant Also Doesn’t Want You To Fauci Their Florida

TALLAHASSSE, FLORIDA -- If there's anything that enrages Republicans these days, it's competent people doing their jobs. This, perhaps more than anything, is the reason that day after day some elected Republican does an interview or makes a post...

CDC: Maybe Your Ten Year Old Needs to Get COVID and Stop Being a Pussy

When and how to safely re-open schools that have been closed or had their student populations greatly reduced during the COVID-19 pandemic has always been a hotly debated topic. Throughout the past year and a half, millions of Americans...

Coroner Updates Ashli Babbitt’s Cause of Death to ‘Believing a Moron’s Bullshit Too Much’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The coroner tasked with determining the cause of death for Ashli Babbitt -- the domestic terrorist shot and killed while attempting to breach the capitol on January 6th, 2021 -- has updated their findings of determination....

Alien Confirms UFO Report But Denies Report MTG is of His Species

For decades, Americans have wondered about what evidence about unidentified flying objects -- UFOs -- their government has collected. Humankind has wondered since time in memoriam about whether they're alone in the great, expansive universe (or universes, as the...

Darwin Institute Encourages MAGA to Refuse Vaccine and Masks

"The Darwin Institute has always been committed to supporting any endeavor to prove evolution is real." - Dr. Hans Katsipp Dr. Hans Katsipp of the Charles Darwin Institute issued a press release from organization today in which he told people...

Fauci Suggests a Lobotomy Might Cure Rand Paul’s ‘Bullshit-itis’

"And let me be crystal clear -- I only say 'might' because we have to first confirm he has anything to lobotomize." WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) clearly has it out for Dr. Anthony Fauci. Some speculate that Sen....
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Latest News

Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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