Sunday, February 28, 2021

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports have painted a very dismal picture. According to the "2020 Study on Passenger...
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Biden Shuts Down Federal Research Into Windmill Cancer Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The federal government will no longer be researching a windmill cancer vaccine, thanks to a new executive order signed by President...

Biden ‘Not Likely’ to Continue Presidential Tradition of Staring Straight Into an Eclipse

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Every four years, the United States of America holds a presidential election, and whoever wins the most votes in the Electoral...

Eric and Don Jr Ask Santa for a PS5 and a New Election

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The outgoing president's sons have sent urgent letters to, as one of them put it, "the most powerful man...

Trump Claims Pfizer and Moderna ‘Had Never Even Heard of Vaccines’ Until He Told Them to Make One

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Since the end of 2019, the entire planet has been trying to work around and fight against the novel coronavirus, or...

CDC Releases New Urgent Guidelines for “Safe and Healthy” Circle Jerking

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control have issued brand new, updated guidance they say is meant to "shed light on safe and...

CDC Study Shows Wearing a Mask Reduces Spreading Selfish Douchebaggery by 100%

HOTLANTA, GEORGIA -- Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released a new study that they are hoping "settles and puts...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one of the biggest offers of his life to another another...

WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human beings on planet Earth, pleading with them to consider limiting...

Alex Jones Asks Why Trump Administration Hasn’t Used Anti-Coronavirus Chemtrails to Protect America

CABEZA MIERDA SPRINGS, TEXAS -- Far-right shock jock Alex Jones went off on quite the rant during a recent edition of his no-award winning...

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