Saturday, April 10, 2021

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"
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Coronavirus Update: CDC Strongly Urges People to Stop Licking Each Other’s Nostrils

WASHINGTON, D.C -- The Centers for Disease Control have issued a strong advisory warning against the practice of "nostril licking," at least until after...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because the turbines necessary kill a lot of birds and the...

Study Shows 85% of Monopoly Money Used to Snort Pixy Stix

A new study just published by the National Institute of Studying Stuff has pointed to, perhaps, a quite alarming statistic. According to a report...

Norwegian Woman Would Never Live In S###hole Countries Without Universal Healthcare

Last year, President Donald Trump made it fairly clear that he would prefer that the United States cut off the flow of immigrants from...

Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For Rare Facial Condition

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing a radical, experimental new plastic surgery procedure, and the hope is that when...

Government Now Using Stealth Drones for Chemtrail Operations

Washington, D.C. -- In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced on Friday that it plans to license and deploy aerial drones to...

Area Woman Asks Jesus to Protect Trump. Jesus Says No

Topeka, KS -- Karen Waters of Topeka, Kansas prays daily for the safety and security of Donald Trump. Ms. Waters, a born-again evangelical Christian, asked...

Chemtrail Learning Center Expands Into Amusement Park

Seattle, WA -- The Washington State-based Evergreen Chemtrail Learning Center (ECLC) announced today that they plan on expanding its 4-year-old learning center to include...

27 People Missing & Presumed Dead in Flat Earth Expedition

Ushuaia, Argentina -- 24 flat earth researchers and 3 crew members have been out of radio contact since late last week and are presumed to...

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