Wednesday, December 8, 2021

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Musk Invests $10 Million in New Water Pipe Company

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last year, Elon Musk made headlines when he appeared on comedian Joe Rogan's podcast and the pair enjoyed a marijuana, or "Jazz" cigarette together. The history of cannabis use in America is one fraught...

Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, in an Oval Office signing ceremony attended by American Christian luminaries like David Duke and the Westboro Baptist Church, President Donald Trump ordered the word Hanukkah to be given one more additional "K." According to sources...

NYC Property Values Have Skyrocketed by 300% Since Trump Announced He Left City

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last night on Twitter, the President of the United States announced that he had moved his permanent residence from Trump Tower in Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago, his resort in South Florida. In a series of...

Trump: UFC Crowd Was Booing Hillary Clinton for Not Showing Up For Them to Boo Her

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald J. Trump attended an Ultimate Fighting Championship match in New York City. Also in attendance were Trump's smartest son named Eric, and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who is one of Trump's loudest...

Will Mark Zuckerberg Mind Us Publishing on Facebook That He Fu**s Sheep?

A recent editorial published on our sister site, The Political Garbage Chute, has gained some traction this week. The fundamental question asked by The Chute's editorial board was a simple one. How much disinformation is too much disinformation on Facebook for its founder Mark...

Studies Show Mitch McConnell in Unique Position to Help U.S. Fund Medicare For All

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an intensive report they conducted, and have concluded that the United States could "pretty easily" fund a universal healthcare program for 400 years just by charging...

Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to Let Someone Else ‘Hog All the Glory’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for 9/11 first responders into law. The effort to secure a never-ending source of money to pay for the medical costs for those who risked life and limb...

Trumper Blames Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton Shootings on AntiFa, Weakened Muslim Ban, and Border Wall Fight

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing YouTube star and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins is an unwavering supporter of President Donald Trump. Mr. Bohiggins told his subscribers this morning that he's "heartbroken, devastated, and outraged" at the news that a mass...

Trump: “Mueller Fully and Completely Exonerated Me in Such a Mean, Biased Way!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump lashed out again at former FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller today while in the Oval Office to sign an executive order. Mr. Mueller, who delivered a report on his investigation into the 2016 presidential...

Trump Orders New ‘Specialized’ ICE Squad For Hispanic Arrests and Deportations

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Air Force One directing the Immigration and Customs Enforcement department to establish a new squad of agents specifically tasked with arresting "Mexican or Mexican-ish, even Mexciany individuals" suspected...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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