Saturday, January 22, 2022

Women for Trump Teams With Chickens for McNuggets on Campaign Fundraiser

The White House will play host to a special dinner gala celebration of the couple of things President Donald Trump has done that he considers to be accomplishments, and all the details are being arranged by two groups who have become unlikely partners.

In the coming weeks, Women for Trump and Chickens for McNuggets will host a fundraising event for Trump’s reelection at the White House. The idea for the gala came from the fact that Trump has taken to hosting championship sports teams and catering the events with fast food. Trump famously fed the Clemson Tigers a fast food buffet from various restaurants, including McDonald’s. A spokeshandmaid for Women for Trump explained the thinking behind the dinner.

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“Well, we know our Dear President’s base loves McDonald’s, and we know they love Dear President, so it’s kind of a no-brainer, really,” Margaret Sampson told reporters this morning. “It’s always important to Republicans that we do things with as little brain power as possible, and that’s what we have here.”

Sampson said that when she and the other executives with Women for Trump decided to host the fundraiser at the White House, they knew they’d need some sponsors. That’s when Chickens for McNuggets came to be involved. Ms. Sampson says working with the group has been a “match made in heaven.”

“You’d be surprised how much our groups have in common with each other,” Sampson said. “It’ll be a night of delicious self-defeatism.”

There are other groups that are reportedly “lining up” to get involved in some way with Women for Trump, Sampson divulged.

“We’re also in talks with Trees for Fire, Bridges for Dynamite, and Coke Dealers for Cops,” Sampson announced. “All of them have shown a ton of interest in teaming up with us. So we look forward to having all kinds of fun conversations soon!”

The legality of hosting a fundraiser at the White House is unclear at this time, but Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi called the Women for Trump fundraiser “eyebrow raising,” “concerning,” and “wholly and completely inappropriate.”

“Just don’t go asking me to do anything about it though,” Pelosi warned Americans. “Because I’m just a politician. It’s not my job to do anything. Just to use words in ways that sounds like I know what I should be doing, regardless of how much I won’t do.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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