Friday, August 12, 2022

Cruz: Dems ‘Aren’t Entitled’ to Supreme Court Majority ‘Just Because They’re the Majority’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-KY) and his fellow Republicans went to great efforts while they were in the majority to maintain a conservative hold on the Supreme Court.

McConnell went so far as to deny a sitting president his constitutional right to nominate a replacement for Justice Antonin Scalia when he died, citing a presidential election that was still months away. Then, the same Sen. McConnell rushed Justice Amy Covid Barrett onto the bench with last year’s election just a few weeks away and after Americans had already started mailing in their ballots. The outrage this political gamesmanship caused among Democrats has spurred a real effort to expand the size of the court — the Constitution does not set a number and it has grown and contracted over time — and that has some Republicans quite upset.


Perhaps no Republican is as unnerved by the efforts to “pack” the Supreme Court with more liberal justices than Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX). In an interview on Fox News this morning, Cruz blasted Democratic efforts to put at least two more justices on the Supreme Court. Cruz said that “liberals in this country are acting like spoiled, entitled brats.”

“Look, I hate to break it to my liberal Democrat friends in this country,” Cruz laughed, “but they aren’t entitled to a Supreme Court majority just because they’re the majority in this country. What, do they think their democracy should be representative of their demographics? What kind of hippy-dippy commie-speak is that?!”

Sen. Cruz said that anything that’s done to bring the make-up of the court into alignment with voting trends of the last thirty years is a  “slippery slope of socialism.”

“Sure, Republicans haven’t won a popular vote in a presidential election more than once in the last 30 years,” Cruz acknowledged, “and technically in Congress we represent millions fewer Americans, but Democrats want to put us on a slippery slope of communism and think something as flimsy as the will of the people gives them the right to do it.”

Cruz believes that “true democracy is mob rule.”

“If you had ten people in a car, and seven of them didn’t want to drive off a bridge, but three did,” Cruz asked rhetorically, “would you respect the rights of the minority to not be trampled by the tyranny of the majority, or would you stop them from driving the car off the bridge like a commie? Your answer tells you everything about how you feel about freedom.”


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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