Friday, August 12, 2022

Don Jr: “There’s No Censorship on Truth Social As Long As You Lie About Daddy”

It’s no big secret — pro-MAGA conservatives have absolutely had it with the major social media platforms. Hardly a day goes by without someone on the far-right complaining that they’re being silenced or censored by “Big Tech,” and perhaps no family airs as many grievances against Twitter and Facebook than the Trump family does.

Former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Donald Trump was kicked off Twitter in January of 2020 after he fomented and incited a deadly riot at the capitol. Since then, he has openly plotted the demise of the major social media networks. Last year, Trump announced that he was going to launch “Truth Social,” his own social media site.

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This morning, the second dumbest Don Trump on the planet explained to OANN anchor Jack Posobiec what his father’s new website is all about.

“Jack, real Americans are sick and tired of big tech fascism and censorship, and of course when I say ‘real’ I mean, you know, un-tinted Americans,” Don Jr told Posobiec. “That’s why on Truth Social, Daddy’s premier social media network, you won’t be forced to live under their tyranny ever again! There’s no censorship on Truth Social as long as you lie about Daddy! Isn’t that refreshing, Jack?”

Posobiec agreed that it was indeed refreshing.

“Truth Social is a place where good, clean, ammo hoarding, gun toting, cousin lusting patriots can go to spread the alternative facts that the lamestream media keeps hiding from you, just because it’s not technically fact based, Jack. Besides,” Trump Jr continued, “we all know that anything good you say about Daddy is true, just because he feels it is. So in a way, it’s kinda impossible to spread lies on Truth Social, as long as you accept the premise that lies are truth, up is down, grass is blue, water is dry, and that President Daddy got sixteen trillion more votes than Sleepy Joe.”

As much as Truth Social is supposed to be a free speech forum, Don Jr. admitted that breaking the rule requiring lies to be told about his father will “have stiff consequences.”

“We will 100% ban you for trying to tell the truth about Daddy on Truth Social, that’s true. But that doesn’t make us hypocrites,” Trump Jr. insisted, “and if you go on Truth Social and say it is hypocritical, you’ll be banned and cancelled from the site.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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