Washington, D.C. — On the heels of a tweet announcing that he’s pulling US Troops out of Syria, the President Trump issues a follow-up tweet proclaiming that “John Lennon is my favorite band. The war is over if I want it. Marry[sic] Christmas”.
It’s unclear what prompted Trump to issue a tweet about his favorite music, or if it is even true. As with many of the President’s tweets, it contained odd malapropisms and spelling errors that went uncorrected.
Damon Grazinsky, who runs the popular Beatles fan website everythingbeatlesandmore.com was as surprised as everyone to hear that the 45th President was a John Lennon fan.
“I’m not so sure Trump knows what he’s talking about,” said Mr. Grazinsky in a telephone interview early this morning. “John wasn’t a band, you know? Also, he must have seen John and Yoko’s billboard in New York as a kid or something and got his facts all tangled up. I know John would have not liked Trump.”
Yoko Ono Confused
A spokesperson for Yoko Ono said she knew nothing about the President’s love for John.
“Ms. Ono is busy promoting her new album of Pink Floyd songs and knows nothing about what the President is talking about,” said spokesperson Bethany Millbright.
Several political experts maintain that Mr. Trump is merely trying to “change the narrative” from his recent legal and stock market woes, and focus the public’s attention on items that make him look better.
“Well clearly it’s been a bad couple of weeks for the President,” said Professor James Badwater of the University of Chicago’s Badwater Institute for Public Policy and Psychiatry. “ISIS is still very much a threat in Syria, and it seems that Trump is lying. Also, this John Lennon thing, I think, is a stunt to make him look more hip or something. But owning an album like Mind Games or even Imagine might do him and the country a load of good.”
The White House did not return Gish Gallop’s request for clarification.