Wednesday, December 8, 2021

VP Harris Thanks Congressional Republicans For Endorsing Her Future Presidency

WASHINGTON, D.C. — These days, it’s tough to throw a rock in the nation’s capital and not hit a Republican demanding that Joe Biden be impeached over his administration’s handling of the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan. Despite public sentiment largely supporting the decision to honor the agreement made by the Republican former, one-term, twice forever impeached daughter-luster in chief, congressional Republicans have said in multiple interviews that they believe Biden should bear the brunt of the responsibility for an initially chaotic, but now massive and quite successful airlift operation to extract tens of thousands of people from the country.

While perhaps it might not come as a shock or surprise to most that Republicans would be clamoring to impeach Biden, apparently the volume of their cries was surprising to one person: Vice President Kamala Harris.


During an interview on NPR over the weekend, Harris said she was “pleasantly surprised” that so many Republicans were apparently “really passionate about having the first female president.”

“It really took me aback, Scott, if I’m being honest. I mean, they don’t control the House, or the Senate,” Harris said during the interview when asked about those demanding Biden’s impeachment. “So they know it can’t even come up for a vote. But the interesting part is that none of them seem to know or care that I’d be next in line, not DaughterDoink McGee.”

As surprised as she is to see so many Republicans desperate to put her into power, Harris does see a ton of upside to the situation.

“Well, if nothing else it’s quite refreshing to see that they’re okay with having a black president now, even one that’s female,” Harris laughed.

Harris said that the Constitution doesn’t have a “backsies clause for wannabe dictators with hurt fee-fees” and that even if the GOP successfully removed Biden and herself from office, a Republican would not become president.

“It would President Nancy Pelosi that all of them would be dealing with then,” Harris stated. “So i’m not too sure that’s a street they wanna cross, if you know what I mean.”

Vice President Harris made sure to give “big thanks” to the Republicans who have endorsed her future presidency thus far.

“I just want to say thank you, and tell you how grateful I am to have you endorse my eventual presidency,” Harris said. “Congresshorse Greene, Domestic Terrorist Sympathizer Lindsey Graham, your support means the world to me. Thank you!”


Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
Must Read


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest News

Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...

More Articles Like This