Friday, March 31, 2023

Massengill and Summer’s Eve Are Co-Sponsoring the Kanye/Trump Summit

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When two of the greatest political minds of our time meet at the White House tomorrow, two American companies will be officially “sponsoring” the historic summit. Massengill and Summer’s Eve issued a joint statement to the press this morning, announcing that they’ll co-sponsor the Kanye West/Donald Trump meeting together.

“In these uncertain times, our two companies decided that banding together to promote douches together is better than missing an opportunity to promote douches apart,” the statement reads. “When Massengill and Summer’s Eve found out about Mr. West visiting Mr. Trump at the White House, both saw an opportunity to market and cross-promote like we’ve not seen since the Limbaugh/Hannity stand-up tour we sponsored in 2002.”

Both companies are known for their feminine hygiene products, and reportedly both sent emails to the White House almost simultaneously.

“I’m not sure which company reached out first, because the emails literally hit my inbox at the same time,” Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters between bites of a nacho cheese stuffed doughnut. “But their offer to cover some of the costs of the summit was so generous, we decided to accept both.”

Summer’s Eve and Massengill are also reportedly going to sell souvenir items with their company logos that feature West’s and Trump’s faces. 

“When most people think of douches, they think of Kanye or Donald, and we’d just like them to also think of one of our companies as well,” the press announcement states. “We look forward to this truly unique and special opportunity.”

This is a developing story.

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.NewsThe Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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