Friday, January 27, 2023

Selected Excerpts from Mark Meadows’ January 6th Text Messages

Just how much the buzz about former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows’ text messages from January 6th are getting outside the beltway isn’t quite sure at this time. However, on the Hill, it’s all anyone can talk about, and perhaps with good reason.

It’s not every day that someone within a presidential administration hands a congressional investigative committee text messages that clearly spell out a coup attempt was underway, who was participating, and who wanted to put an end to the chaos and violence of that day.

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There has been much written already about the messages sent to Meadows on January 6th by Donald Trump Jr, Sean Hannity, and Laura Ingraham. However, there are plenty of text messages from those three to Mark Meadows that have not gotten as much publicity. What follows is a sampling, a curated selection, of texts between Mark Meadows and three very pro-MAGA Americans.

Donald Trump Jr

“Mark! Can you please tell President Daddy to call off his mob? Also, if he has time, can he let me know if I’m still his least favorite Donald Trump, or if he loves me now? Really wanna find that out if I can, Mark.”

“Hey Marky Mark and the Fuck Democracy Bunch (LOL!), quick Q (see what I did there?!) for you: Has President Daddy had a chance to stop that insurrection thingy yet? Or, maybe has he told you whether he hates me or loves me?”

Sean Hannity

“M, it’s SH. May your efforts today go down in history alongside April 12, 1861, April 15th, 1865, December 8th, 1941, and January 6th, 2021 as the days when the REAL GOOD GUYS took a stand. Love you, bro. Mean that. Super deep love you. Even when we’re not all hopped up on speed and banging in each other out in the Lincoln Bedroom. Shit, how I do turn off the voice to text before I send the tweet? OH NO FUCK DON’T SEND THE -“

“Hey Mark! I was just telling the gang around the watercooler/flaming cross that back in your Birther days, you had some of the best fucking jokes! Can you remember any of them? Shoot them my way, if so. Great coup, by the way! Looking good from your POV?”

Laura Ingraham

“Herr Mark, bitte geben Sie diese Nachricht an Donald, meine Liebe. Mein Führer! Meine Liebe zu dir läuft so kalt wie der Urin in meinen Adern, die meine Ärzte mein ‘Blut’ nennen. Möge dieser Tag nicht den Tod, sondern die Wiedergeburt des Vierten Reiches bedeuten! Liebe immer, Frau Lolo”

“Diesen Aufstand zu sehen, gibt mir eine weibliche Erektion, wenn Sie meinen, Marky. Aber ich mache mir Sorgen, dass sie Mikey Pence noch nicht hängen. Könnte dies möglicherweise ein weiterer Trump-Versagen sein – entschuldigen Sie! Alternativer Gewinn?”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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