Sunday, September 19, 2021

McCarthy: House GOP is ‘Outraged’ Liz Cheney ‘Only Repeats 99.9% of Our Lies’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Capitol Hill, there’s a new war breaking out within one of the country’s oldest political institutions. Will the political cohort that used to dub itself the “Party of Lincoln,” complete its rebranding efforts and become the Party of Trump? Those are the stakes, and it appears the first battleground will be in the House of Representatives, where the pro-MAGA and pro-democracy forces in the GOP are battling for who will be in official positions of leadership.

Currently, Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney is the third highest ranking member of the House Republican caucus. There was a time in the Republican Party when the daughter of a war mongering war criminal who helped invent a reason to drag the country into war would earn someone a lifetime seat of power within it, however those days have passed now that the party is largely beholden to Trump. Cheney voted to hold Trump accountable for inciting a violent insurrection on January 6th, a terrorist attack designed to ignore the will of the people and install Trump in a second term, regardless of the fact that he lost the election and more than five dozen subsequent lawsuits regarding it.

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House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) initially tried to play both sides of the divide, but in recent days sources say former President Trump was able to remind McCarthy of the oath he swore to keep his undying loyalty to the alleged billionaire’s sphincter and general rectal region. McCarthy, who once tepidly defended Cheney, has since been caught in a recording bashing her, and it appears he’s willing to help oust Cheney from her leadership role.

Leader McCarthy was asked about the civil war raging in his party this morning during a press briefing. McCarthy dismissed rumors of a raging civil war as “fake news” and said that what’s really happening is that conference members are “expressing their outrage” about how Cheney won’t “commit to towing the party line or telling the party lie.”

“I’m sorry, but for some of my colleagues, it’s just not acceptable that Liz would lie about ALMOST all the same things we do, but not the one about the election,” McCarthy said. “You could say they’re outraged that Liz only repeats 99.9% of our lies, and that is why she will be probably be held more accountable than the guy who nearly got some of us killed on January 6th.”

Cheney will lie about climate change, lie about tax cuts for the wealthy helping the poor, and will “most definitely lie about whatever it takes to get us into another war,” McCarthy suggested. She won’t, however, tell the “one lie we need everyone on the team telling.”

“Would it kill her? Would it absolutely kill her to just spread the Big Alternative Fact with us,” McCarthy asked. “Why can’t she just help us completely dismantle democracy? What makes he so much better than the rest of us? Those are the questions we want Rep. Cheney to answer for us.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.