Tuesday, July 27, 2021

How Will I Know Who Meghan McCain’s Dad Was If She Doesn’t Remind Me on ‘The View’ Every Day?

Four the last four years, I have gone to bed every single night secure in my knowledge of at least one thing, and in this crazy, topsy-turvy world gone mad, no one can deny how important it is to know at least something. With all the “fake news” and hyperbole floating around, it’s hard to keep hold of facts, so when you happen to be given facts, any facts, you hold onto them perhaps a little extra tightly. And for the last four years, I have known, deep down in my heart one key factoid, which I think might be the most important piece of trivia in the history of the known and unknown universes.

John McCain was Meghan McCain’s dad.

HANNITY: “HOW LONG BEFORE BIDEN STARTS CARING ABOUT HIS TWITTER FOLLOWER COUNT LIKE A PATRIOT?”

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Granted, I was pretty sure I knew that fact before Meghan took a co-hosting gig on ABC’s “The View” talkshow. She had written a few books, and was becoming a media personality at the time she signed onto the show started by venerable broadcasting icon Barbara Walters. Still, it was nice that over time any doubts I had about who Meghan’s daddy was were wiped away on a daily basis. Sometimes multiple times per episode.

Time after time, Meghan found ways to shoehorn in who were testicular biomatter donor was. It was really quite a fun game to play. When will Meghan remind the world who her father was? During a segment about a political topic, or not, Meghan could be consistently counted on to name drop her own ball-juice originator, and it became as integral a part of the show’s content as Whoopi Goldberg’s sanguine and humorous observations, and Joy Behar’s gravelly-voiced takes on the issues of the day.

I dare say that spending each weekday relentlessly informing Americans who her father was might be the single most important thing any American has ever done. What a contribution to the political discourse in this country! I’m not sure Meghan’s efforts will ever be truly understood or appreciated in her own lifetime, sadly, though.

Now that Meghan has announced she’s departing “The View,” though, I worry. Will I ever know who Meghan’s father was now? I’m not all that old, but I’m old enough to know that I can forget things. If I’m not reminded every day, multiple times a day, who Meghan McCain’s dad was, will I ever truly be sure who it was again?

I DON’T KNOW WHAT CRITICAL RACE THEORY IS, BUT I KNOW YOU’RE RACIST FOR TALKING ABOUT IT

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.