The following story was originally filed by Alternative Facts.
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO — When he ran for president in 2016, Donald J. Trump promised that he was going to build a wall on the southern border between Mexico and the United States. A very bold promise, given that net migration from the south had been at all-time lows and there wasn’t a real appetite for it, except among his anti-immigrant base. What made it outlandish was that he Mexico would be the ones to pay for the wall.
This month, the Mexican government sent its final check to the U.S. Treasury, earmarked for the last wall payment. The amount of the check was the same it has been every time Mexico has sent one. It was written for the amount of $0.00, and a middle finger was drawn on the memo line.
Mexico also sent an empty box of chocolates and a bouquet of dead flowers.
“Pinche Pendejo Naranjo, please accept this check as our final installment for your monument to racism on our shared border,” a note accompanying the check reads. “You will find that is for the same amount of all the quarterly checks we have sent you for the last four years. Thanks for keeping one of our most popular inside jokes relevant this whole time, Mr. Pato Incapacitado.”
“Please also accept these special gifts on behalf of our entire nation. You have truly earned your one and only term as president,” Mexico’s government explained, “as much as you deserve what’s in the box. The bouquet represents the 300,000 of your own people that you let die from covid-19 because you are as incompetent as you are lazy, entitled, arrogant, racist, and criminal.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.