WHORELANDO, FLORIDA — In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn of events, Mickey and Minnie Mouse have files papers in Florida district court, suing their employer.
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Reportedly, the famous rodential couple filed their lawsuit against The Walt Disney Company remotely, as they were both hospitalized with COVID-19 infections. The suit alleges that when Disney decided to open its Floridian theme parks ahead of the CDC saying it was safe to do so, it exposed Mickey and Minnie to the coronavirus, as the parks were “flooded with guests” according to the suit.
“Our clients believe that it Disney is responsible for them getting the coronavirus,” attorney Warner Broshe told reporters today, “because they were not ill during the entire quarantine leading up to the parks’ reopening. It was undoubtedly some park guest, or perhaps even a returning, infected employee, who got our clients sick.”
Disney had come under fire from some for choosing to reopen its parks even as COVID-19 cases began a massive surge in Florida. The company’s California parks remain closed and with the governor directing most businesses to return to a closed status it seems they may stay so for awhile to come. Florida’s parks opened with some new changes for guests to get used to.
Hand sanitizer stations have been placed around the park, and physical distancing cues and guidelines could be seen on the ground.
Alongside the sanitizing stations and social distance cues, Disney is also requiring all guests 2 years of age and older, along with cast members, to wear an appropriate face covering while visiting the parks. (ClickOrlando)
The suit seeks financial damages from Disney, and also asks the court to order them to apologize to Mickey and Minnie formally.
“Mickey and Minnie aren’t looking to get rich from this suit. Over the last several decades, they’ve been fortunate enough to earn quite a lot of money,” Broshe explained. “Mainly, they just want Disney to publicly acknowledge their mistake. They want Disney to admit they decided to value profits more than those employees who help them make those same profits. So, do they want a few million bucks in damages? Sure. But the apology is so much more important to them.”
One thing that Mickey and Minnie do not want to do is give the impression that they blame the person or people who got them sick.
“To be clear — Mickey and Minnie are not mad at whoever got them sick. They’re mad at Disney for exposing them to the situation in which they were exposed to COVID,” Broshe said. “They get how science works. Minnie and Mickey both very much so understand the concept of asymptomatic spread. That’s why they both were in favor of quarantining and closing the parks down in the first place. Of course our clients understand that someone could have been sick, not known it, and given it to them unwittingly. That’s why they support the lockdown.”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.