Sunday, November 27, 2022

Penis-Shaped Racist Shares His Thoughts on Afghan Refugees With Laura Ingraham

TRANSYLVANIA, FLORIDUH — Last night on Fox News, host Laura Ingraham welcomed a penis-shaped racist man to share his thoughts on whether the U.S. should make efforts to house refugees from Afghanistan. As the situation in that country worsens, and the Taliban retakes control after U.S. troops began their withdrawal, several in former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald Trump’s orbit have weighed in on the situation, and the penis-shaped racist man, who once tried to convince the world spray paint on his head was hair, became the latest such person to give thoughts nobody outside of other racists really cares to hear.

The penis-shaped racist man told viewers that America owes the Afghan refugees, many of whom helped America’s war effort in their country, nothing. He insisted that the Biden administration wants to bring the refugees in to fundamentally change America, as racist, penis-shaped jizz golems are wont to do. During the course of the interview, Ingraham’s lady boner could be visibly seen growing in girth and turgidity with each blatantly racist dog whistle the penis analogue blew.

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“Oh my sweet fuck, Stephen! You’re turning me on more than the time I watched Schindler’s List in reverse,” Ingraham said as she rubbed an EIB mug on her front-butt. “Go on. Tell me more about how cool it is to shit on brown people who need help!”

A smile crept across Miller’s face that not even a mother could love.

“Laura, I’d be glad to. I wrote an entire essay on why the Constitution only applies to white people,” Miller said, “if you’d like me to kick it up a notch and read to you from that?”

Ingraham agreed, and Miller brought her to climax, opening the gates of Hell and summoning the demons from within as she came.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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