Coronavirus Update: CDC Strongly Urges People to Stop Licking Each Other’s Nostrils

WASHINGTON, D.C — The Centers for Disease Control have issued a strong advisory warning ...

Man: “You’re Voting for the Wrong Person You Fucking Idiot”

The following is an editorial opinion piece written by Dick Whistler, a local man ...

Trump Supporters Demand Football Hall of Fame Remove Socialist Barry Sanders

The Pro Football Hall of Fame released a statement regarding a “deluge of calls, ...

Man Kicking Himself for Missing the Perfect Opportunity to Kill Himself

VALLE DE INÚTIL, CALIFORNIA — Looking back on it now, Jake Masterson is pretty ...

Musk Invests $10 Million in New Water Pipe Company

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Last year, Elon Musk made headlines when he appeared ...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. — President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because ...

Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential

LAKE ÉTOILE DÉCLINANTE, ILLINOIS — Phillip Fillmore, a lifelong resident of his sleepy midwestern ...

Trump Pardons Lee Harvey Oswald

NARANJO CHINGADOR, CALIFORNIA — President Donald Trump has not been ashamed to use his ...

Boy Scouts of America Moves Headquarters to Vatican City

VATICAN CITY, THE VATICAN — The Boy Scouts of America is filing for bankruptcy ...