Thursday, June 8, 2023

Pence Stuns Green Bay Rally With Impressive Robot Dance

Green Bay, WI — Vice President Mike Pence broke into an uncharacteristic and surprisingly decent version of a “robot dance” during a Green Bay, Wisconsin campaign stop for controversial governor Scott Walker. Poll results released Wednesday found Governor Walker getting 47 percent support among likely voters, compared to 46 percent for  Democrat Tony Evers and 5 percent for Libertarian Phil Anderson. The Vice President was there to bolster what aides have called “MAGA support,” referring to President’s often used phrase Make America Great Again.

The rally started out like every other pro-Trump event with Rolling Stones music and guest speakers praising the accomplishments of President Trump. The crowd of over 450 people were even treated to the nation’s only clown who juggles both beer and cheese. By the time Vice President Pence took that stage, many of the audience were already quite inebriated due to a hosted beer bar provided by the local conservative political action committee “Beers for Kavanaugh.” The group was hastily formed two weeks ago during the Senate’s Supreme Court hearings.

As Pence’s name was announced, the somewhat drunken crowd jeered and haphazardly clapped as the Vice President approached the stage. Sensing disorder in the audience, Mr. Pence flashed his signature smile and began to twitch his arms and legs in a robot-like dance, much to the joy of the crowd.

“We were all pretty drunk by the time he got on the stage,” said Green Bay resident and Trump supporter Owen Miller commenting on the Vice President’s unusual command of the robot dance. “He was moving around like a pro. I didn’t know he had it in him.”

After a few moments, Mr. Pence moved to the lectern and spoke about his dank moves.

“I usually save this dance for weddings,” said Mr. Pence wiping is sweaty brow. “I’ve never done this in public before, but I have to tell you, when I’m at home listening to Cher, I rip out these moves. My family gives me all kinds of grief about it, but I’m glad you liked it.”

As  Walker took the stage, hopes were high that he would attempt to top Pence’s performance. The rowdy crowd started shouting ‘dance fight! dance fight!” as the two-time governor took the stage. As luck would have it, Mr. Walker tripped on an unsecured microphone cable which the audience assumed was a dance attempt. And because it in no way matched the caliber of Vice President’s performance, the crowd booed for over 5 minutes. Mr. Walker attempted to wave off the protests.

“All right, all right, time to settle down,” said a defiant Walker. “I can’t dance, but boy do I know how to bust a union. Am I right? Or am I right?”

At later appearances in Wisconsin, the Vice President didn’t repeat his performance, despite rumors on social media that he might.

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue, and seldom loses. Mostly because he's well informed. And somewhat gassy
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