Friday, March 31, 2023

Petition to Put Harvey Weinstein In Epstein’s Prison Cell Reaches Six Million Signatures

NEW YORK — This week, a petition to put disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein in the same jail cell that was once occupied by billionaire Jeffrey Epstein reached over six million signatures. The petition, started online, asks the New York prison system to “make whatever arrangements are necessary” to move Weinstein into the same cell in which Epstein spent his last days on Earth. The petition still has another month to collect signatures before its delivered to New York authorities.

“We should make it abundantly clear that prisoner transfers and cell moves are not routinely processed by way of petitions,” New York Prison System Deputy Assistant Junior Director Carol Gladwell told reporters when asked about the petition this morning. “That being said, a rather compelling case in this particular situation. After all, Mr. Weinstein is quite used to getting special, extraordinary attention, isn’t he?”

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Earlier this year, Weinstein was convicted in New York district court on several counts of sexual assault.

Harvey Weinstein was sentenced Wednesday to 23 years in prison after breaking his courtroom silence with a rambling plea for mercy in which he professed to be “totally confused” by the #MeToo movement that spelled the Hollywood producer’s downfall. (AP)

Though the most serious charges didn’t stick, Weinstein’s conviction resulted in a 23 year sentence, issued just this week. He’s still facing criminal charges in California as well. Since the mid-1990’s, Weinstein was one of the most powerful producers in Tinseltown, producing a string of hits under the banner of his flagship studio, Miramax Productions. His wanton, serial abuse of women looking for careers in the entertainment and film industry had been somewhat of an open secret in Hollywoo for years, but only in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement had enough pressure built on law enforcement and the justice system to do something about it.

He was convicted last month of raping a once-aspiring actress in a New York City hotel room in 2013 and forcibly performing oral sex on former TV and film production assistant Mimi Haleyi at his apartment in 2006. He faced a minimum of five years and a maximum of 29 years in prison (AP)

“We understand the impulse, and we find the petition compelling,” New York wrote, “but traditionally, prisoner transfers and cell assignments have been handled internally, not via public petitions.”

On the same website, there are a couple of other petitions regarding Weinstein’s prison sentence. One petition seeks to have the same guards who were assigned to Jeffrey Epstein handle the guard duties for Weinstein. That petition has reached over four million signatures. New York has given no indication they will act on that petition either.

One thing Weinstein’s conviction does is cast serious doubt on his ability to return to showbiz ever again in his life. Weinstein in his late sixties, and just his New York sentence alone seems to mean he’ll spend the majority of the rest of his life behind bars. This means projects like his planned Roger Ailes biopic, in which President Trump would play the Fox News executive, and comedian Louis CK would play a constantly masturbating Bill O’Reilly, have been delayed indefinitely.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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