Thursday, March 30, 2023

Richard Simmons To Aid North Korean Leader’s Weight Loss

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un with a scantily clad Richard Simmons. released by North Korea's News Agency
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un with a scantily clad Richard Simmons. released by North Korea’s News Agency

Pyongyang, North Korea — North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s weight has been the subject of ridicule since taking power after his Father’s death. Recently he became angered after John McCain called him, “the lil fat kid”. After vowing to attack the U.S., Kim made a call to change his life and his weight forever.

The North Korean leader has reached out to American fitness guru Richard Simmons, who has helped thousands transform their lives and bodies. Simmons has been in Pyongyang since last week and has already helped redecorate the home of leader Kim Jong Un, giving it lots of color and adding some tight shorts to Jong Un’s wardrobe.

Kim Jong Un is reportedly on an 1800 calorie diet and is ‘sweating to the oldies’ for 3 hours a day.

Simmons did have one misstep when he kept hugging Kim Jong Un, and was thrown into jail for half a day. That did not deter Simmons as he had the jail guards singing show tunes by lunch.

Simmons was recorded as saying, “C’mon Jongy, they wont take you seriously until you aren’t the only fattie in the country”.

Jong Un reportedly broke down in tears on the third day after hearing the song, “Its my party (Ill cry if I want too)”, saying his Father never hugged him and he eats to fill the void it left inside him. He went on saying that he only tortures people that look like his Father. Simmons let him cry it out on his shoulder,

Simmons released a tweet saying that he was proud of Kim Jong Un, who is down 4 lbs. Saying he is transforming and healing inside. Simmons thinks that it may break the ice in U.S. – N. Korea relations.

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue, and seldom loses. Mostly because he's well informed. And somewhat gassy
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