Thursday, June 8, 2023

John Barron, David Dennison, and Trump’s Tax Lawyer Issue Joint Statement: Liz Warren Is A Fraud

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump’s tax attorney has joined together with Mr. John Barron and Mr. David Dennison to roundly condemn Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) of being a “bigly and obvious fraud.”

Warren set the Internet on fire this week when she released results of a DNA test she took that showed he has distance relation to indigenous Americans, possibly from Central and South America. Ms. Warren has been harshly mocked and criticized by her opponents on the right for years because they believe she falsely claimed to have Native American heritage to gain a leg-up in her legal and academic career — something Warren has completely and repeatedly dismissed. 

The subject of Warren’s possible genetic ties to native tribes even got the attention of the President of the United States who famously offered to donate a million dollars to a charity Warren picked if she took a DNA test that showed she was a Native American. Mr. Trump has since denied making that claim, despite there being actual recorded evidence that has been played over and again.

Mr. Trump even used Twitter to mock Warren, pointing out that the Cherokee Nation had issued a statement that essentially threw cold water on any DNA test proving anything related to native ancestry. Sen. Warren did in fact mention this when she released the results of the test, but that didn’t stop Trump from bashing her.

“We, the undersigned,” the joint letter from Barron, Dennison, and Trump’s longtime tax attorney starts, “do hereby state now, publicly, that we believe Senator Elizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren is nothing more than a complete and utter fraud.”

The letter calls Warren a “total and complete sham phony faker.”

“We have to wonder why the American people would ever trust anything Warren says. Sure, she took a test that showed she had distant native heritage like she’s always said was her family lore,” the letter reads. “But the president has made it very clear she’s a lying liar who lies and has ordered the American people, under the full weight of his authority, to ignore that total and complete sham phony faker.”

Senator Warren could not be reached for comment.

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.NewsThe Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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