Thursday, March 30, 2023

Sure Marjorie Taylor Greene is an Unhinged Racist, But She Makes Amazing Grits!

Freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-MAGAstan) has had quite a first couple of weeks on her new job. On her first day as a congressional representative, and on the first day of his presidency, she filed Articles of Impeachment against President Joe Biden. It was well-known before she won her election last year that Greene was a believer in the QAnon conspiracy theory, but as many eyebrows as that fact might raise, recently discovered social media posts were enough of a cause for alarm for one of her Democratic colleagues to formally start the process of expelling her from Congress.

In published screenshots, Greene is seen posting about and supporting the assassination of her political rivals, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Two videos have surfaced of Greene harassing David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland school shooting, as she is an avid Second Amendment enthusiast. Greene’s social media posts also indicate she believed at one point that the shooting was a staged event, and didn’t really happen.

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What’s becoming increasingly clear as she spends more time in Congress is that Rep. Greene is an unhinged racist psychopath. However, nobody is a one dimensional caricature, and Greene recently told Tinfoil Monthly — a popular publication among conspiracy theorists — that she has several hidden talents that the public at large might be surprised to find out about. In particular, Greene talked up her ability to make “perfect, southern style grits.”

“You know, my mama always raised me to appreciate the simple things in life,” Greene told the interviewer. “That’s I start almost every morning with a big ol’ pile of grits, and a big ol’ hit off my glass dick, this here crack pipe. It was handed down to me from my great-great-grandpappy, whose wife was also his sister, and it was used by him to fight against Lincoln’s war of aggression.”

Greene claims that her grits are so good that “people come from miles around” to have her make them up a bowl.

“I’ve been told my grits are absolutely to die for,” Greene said, “which is kinda cool because I think voting for Democrats is something you should literally die for! Cute, huh?!”

Yesterday, we reported that Rep. Greene also has come out strongly opposed to the second impeachment trial of the former president.

“Let’s just say it plain and simple — the Constitution clearly states that if a sitting God Emperor King wants to stay on the thrones, Democrats are powerless to stop them,” Greene said, crack smoke billowing out from her word wole. “This ain’t me sayin’ it neither! This is, like, fully-full-on in the Constal-toochin or whatever it’s called!” (NRN)

Greene will be up for re-election next fall, as House terms only last two years.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler, and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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