Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Alabama

Alabama Republicans Propose New State Miscarriage Investigation Unit

STONEWALL COUNTY, ALABAMA -- Just a couple of weeks after Alabama's governor signed a sweeping, abortion ban into law, Republican legislators in her state have proposed an amendment to the law that would earmark $15 million to create a...

Alabama Celebrates First Fetal Wedding

RIO SIN DIENTES, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama town, preparations are underway for a truly momentous and perhaps historic event -- a man and a fetus will be wed this weekend.  Jasper McCoy, 32-years-old and a devout born again...

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and Alabama resident Jane Sampson was raped while walking home after working a late shift at St. Mary's Hospital. To her utter shock and dismay, when Jane missed her period...

Fully Engorged Mike Pence Just Staring at Maps of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence has spent the last 36 solid hours just staring at maps of four states -- Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri. According to several sources close to the situation, Pence is in a...

God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during his recent visit to tornado victims in Alabama. Schumay, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc.,...

Obama Autographs Woman’s No-Cost Mammogram She Got Through ACA

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS --  When President Donald Trump visited areas of Alabama devastated by a spate of tornadoes, he raised eyebrows after he started signing autographs for supporters. What seemed to cause the buzz wasn't that he was autographing things...

Trump Asked Woman If The Bible He Signed is ‘Any Good or Not’

FT. CONFEDERATE, ALABAMA -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump visited the State of Alabama in the wake of a series of absolutely harrowing and devastating tornadoes. Trump tweeted last week that he'd directed FEMA to give Alabama "A-plus" treatment, and...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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