Friday, August 19, 2022

Barack Obama

In The Interest of Bipartisanship, Manchin Supports McConnell Blocking Biden’s SCOTUS Nominees

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Surprising literally no one, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-Moscow) told reporters today that if the Republicans retake control of the Senate in next year's midterms, he will block any Supreme Court nominees put forth by...

Cruz: Dems ‘Aren’t Entitled’ to Supreme Court Majority ‘Just Because They’re the Majority’

"Do they think their democracy should be representative of their demographics?"

Biden Hires New Moving Company to Assist Trump’s Exit from White House

The Biden transition team has hired "Yes We Can Move You!," a newly formed moving company that specializes in packing and hauling the belongings of former world leaders to their new homes, to help expedite outgoing President Donald J....

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's highly anticipated first presidential memoir, "A Promised Land," was released this week to largely quite positive reviews. According to the book's publishers, it contains a self-chronicling of Obama's life through his first of...

Barack Obama and Merrick Garland Not Buying Mitch McConnell’s Bullshit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack Obama and Federal Judge Merrick Garland have released a statement, following Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's speech on the Senate floor, decrying the impeachment of President Donald Trump. Senator McConnell, in a long-winded speech,...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope for the emergence of a new day, the dawning of a new era as with...

President Orders DOJ to Investigate Obama For Being Better at Literally Everything Than He Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret at all on the Hill that the current occupant of the White House is not a fan in any way of his predecessor. President Donald Trump began his career in politics...

Barack Obama Buys and Renames Netflix, Releases List of Its First Three New Shows

KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he and his wife Michelle have agreed to purchase streaming media company Netflix and rename it. At the same time, Obama announced the first three new shows the company...

Trump Writes “I’m Not Racist!” on the Back of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate and Mails It to Central Park 5

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The issue of whether or not President Donald J. Trump is a racist man has clearly started to get under his skin. Trump spent much of the weekend retweeting black conservatives and others who seemed eager...

President Promises TrumpCare Will Cover ‘Non-Existing Conditions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Though it's still more than a year and a half away, President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position in the 2020 presidential campaign. Over the last few weeks, he has stepped up his...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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