Tuesday, December 7, 2021

border wall

Trumper Blames Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton Shootings on AntiFa, Weakened Muslim Ban, and Border Wall Fight

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing YouTube star and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins is an unwavering supporter of President Donald Trump. Mr. Bohiggins told his subscribers this morning that he's "heartbroken, devastated, and outraged" at the news that a mass...

Home Depot Sponsors 129 Miles of Trump’s Border Wall

Atlanta, GA -- The world's largest home improvement retailer announced today that it plans on sponsoring up to 129 miles of President Trump's border wall. Home Depot, known for its labyrinth-like shopping experience and employees who avoid eye-contact says...

Mexico Agrees to Pay for National Emergency as Long as Trump Can Prove it Exists

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has sent an official communique to both houses of Congress, offering to shoulder the financial burden of "any national emergency that Trump can prove is real." "To the people of the...

Burger King Preps 60,000 Mexican Replacement Robots

Miami, FL -- Burger King Corporation announced today that it plans on replacing its foreign-born and domestic workers in all of its 7400 restaurants with foreign-built robots. The company says that it plans on installing over 60,000 Mexican-engineered and...

Gated Communities Discovered to be Massive Secret Government Social Experiment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Under the Freedom of Information Act, or FOIA, Not Really News has obtained information on a giant secret government experiment that took place over a period of years. Funded through both the U.S. government and private...

China Taunts Trump: Our Wall is Thicker, Longer, Harder

Beijing, China -- In a provocative move designed to get under the skin of President Trump, the Chinese Xinhua News Agency announced during a national news broadcast that its wall is thicker, longer and harder than anything Donald Trump could...

Trump to Shoot Somebody on Fifth Avenue to Celebrate MLK Day

Washington, D.C. -- President Trump casually mentioned that he plans on shooting "somebody" on New York City's Fifth Avenue in honor of Martin Luther King Day later this month. The comments, which were sandwiched between questions about border security...

Trump Settles For Holographic Wall

Washington D.C. -- Officials close to President have acknowledged that Mr. Trump's willingness to compromise on a "holographic" version of his proposed wall, the New York Times is reporting today. The aide, who wished to remain anonymous, says the...
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Biden Sells White House Naming Rights to Soros, Inc for $666 Trillion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden signed an agreement today that authorizes a name change to the historic residence...
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