Saturday, October 1, 2022

Christmas

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the bestselling fantasy fiction series "The Whore-y Bible," which is an edition of the Bible that features sexualized stories from the scripture, told the world today...

Eric and Don Jr Ask Santa for a PS5 and a New Election

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The outgoing president's sons have sent urgent letters to, as one of them put it, "the most powerful man not named Vladimir Putin I know," begging him to give them a new presidential election...

Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, in an Oval Office signing ceremony attended by American Christian luminaries like David Duke and the Westboro Baptist Church, President Donald Trump ordered the word Hanukkah to be given one more additional "K." According to sources...

Santa Asks 58 Year Old If She Still Believes Trump is a Real President

THE NORTH POLE, EARTH -- On Christmas night last year, President Trump raised eyebrows all over the political spectrum when he asked a child he was speaking to on the phone if they still believed in Santa Claus, and...

Trump Records Christmas Single for Charity: “White Power Christmas”

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- American record label U.S. Capitol Records announced this week that it will be teaming up with President Donald Trump to record and release a Christmas-themed single. The proceeds will go toward Trump's favorite charity -- Donald...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's a day that many in this country thought would never come, but nevertheless has arrived and given all Americans hope for the emergence of a new day, the dawning of a new era as with...

Man Strikes First Blow in War on Christmas Putting Up His Lights on Halloween

CENTRAL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Inspired by President Donald Trump's repeated rhetoric, including a 2017 speech at the Value Voters Summit yesterday, Kevin Palumbo went to his garage this morning, grabbed his ten foot ladder, and all sixteen boxes of...
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God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend revealed the shooter's manifesto included...
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