Tag: covid-19

Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS — Scott Scooterson is a self-described “selfish fuck.” It’s important ...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON — Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one ...

Man on COVID Quarantine Really Missing Taco Bell Shits

LA MIERDA LIQUIDA, CALIFORNIA — Getting used to living in the post-coronavirus America has ...

Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic

LAKE MANGEUR  D’HOMME, MINNESOTA — Terry Homocomedenti wasn’t really too nervous about the novel ...

WHO Strongly Cautions Against Human Centipedes of More Than 7 People

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — The World Health Organization issued an urgent advisory to all human ...

Report: People Were Socially Distancing Themselves From You Way Before Coronavirus

The CDC has recently issued guidelines for reducing the spread of the novel coronavirus, ...